May 3 2018

Cover Reveal: FALLING FOR MR. SLATER

FALLING FOR MR. SLATERMy latest romantic comedy by Kendall Day will hit the shelves on May 23. Here’s the blurb for FALLING FOR MR. SLATER:

This job can suck it.

After teaching eighth grade gifted language arts for years, I’m being moved to remedial sixth grade science.

New team. New subject. New everything.

Oh, and did I mention “science” now includes sex ed? Some of these kids—like that hellion Roxie Rambling, who, a decade later, still holds the title of My Worst Student Ever—probably know more about sex than me, and I’m an expert on the subject.

To add insult to injury, I’ve been assigned an intern from the local college. I need to focus on winning Teacher of the Year, not waste my charm, wit, and ruggedly handsome looks on coddling some bimbo playing teacher.

Just when it can’t possibly get worse, a twenty-one-year-old, hot-as-hell Roxie Rambling darkens my door, wearing a red mini skirt, four-inch heels, and an ID that reads “Student Teacher.”

So long, Teacher of the Year. Hello, trouble—in the classroom and in my pants.

Stay tuned next week for a sneak peek at the first chapter. In the meantime, you can check out some great reviews and/or add FALLING FOR MR. SLATER to Goodreads here. While you’re at it, be sure to give Kendall Day a follow on Facebook. If you’re feeling the need to one-click, the book is available for pre-order* on Barnes & Noble, iTunes, Kobo, and Google Play for only $2.99. The price will go up shortly after release day on May 23.

* No Amazon pre-order.

April 13 2018

New Name, New Book

Falling for Mr. Slater

Some women change their hair color every other week. I change my name. 😂

If you follow me on Facebook, you may have seen my posts about a new pen name and a new book coming out soon.

Y’all, it’s true. I wrote another romantic comedy, and I think you’re gonna LOVE it. It’s not as raunchy and filthy as the Hard Rock Harlots series, but it does have some smokin’ hot sex and a fun, feel-good story about the lives of teachers outside classroom doors.

You’ll laugh! You’ll howl! You’ll fan your underwear with your science notebook! 😂

The book is called FALLING FOR MR. SLATER, and my new pen name is Kendall Day.

If you want a chance at a free Advance Reader Copy in exchange for your honest, spoiler-free review on Amazon, you can sign up to review and/or pimp here.

FALLING FOR MR. SLATER will hit the virtual shelves on May 15, 2018. You can keep up with my progress over on my new Facebook page. I’ll post the blurb there very soon.

Add FALLING FOR MR. SLATER to your Goodreads TBR here.

More to come!

April 7 2018

SMUT SALE!

Here’s the low-down, short and sweet:

STRINGS and BEATS are on sale for $1.99.

NOCTURNES is on sale for $0.99.

This sale ends April 10, so grab your dirt-ass cheap copies now!

Oh, and heed the warnings on the books. They’re for real, yo.

Strings, Book 1 in the Hard Rock Harlots series

[Hardcore Erotica]

STRINGS 2nd ED - 200 X 300WARNING: STRINGS is not suitable for slut shamers, uptight stone throwers, Holier-Than-Thou prudes, humorless virgins, persons with chronic neck or back pain, pearl-clutching biddies, those who disparage crude humor or vulgarity in their many forms, closed-minded people with sticks up their asses, or anyone under the age of 18. The vile, base language and shocking, unholy sexual acts contained herein are not condoned by anyone with a lick of sense and should certainly not be reproduced without proper training and protection. The potty-mouthed and perpetually horny “heroine” (the term is used loosely) of this book does not resemble a normal, well-adjusted, or remotely believable person in any way, shape, or form. The author acknowledges that the characters in this book are shallow and two-dimensional; the plot is both ridiculous and insipid. She makes no apologies for any of it.

* Readers are strongly advised to wear latex gloves whilst reading to minimize contamination risks.

Free-spirited musician Letty Dillinger adheres to a strict, “no strings attached” policy when it comes to men. After a wild night of unabashed sex in a fancy hotel room, she never expects to see the adventurous stud she dubs “Shades” again. When her all-girl rock trio books a tour at the last minute as the opening act for their archenemies, Letty’s shocked to discover she knows the competition’s new lead singer. Intimately. Shades is no longer a one-night stand. Now he’s the guy she has to one-up on stage every night for the sake of her career.

Sharing close quarters on a bus with her sexy nemesis and his bad-boy buddies puts Letty’s Golden Rule to the test. On this tour, guitar strings aren’t the only things being played. And when heartstrings are pulled too hard, they’re bound to snap sooner or later.

Order your signed paperback copy here

Ebook available at:


Beats, Book 2 in the Hard Rock Harlots series

[Hardcore Erotica]

BEATS 2nd ED - 200 X 300WARNING: BEATS is specially formulated for horn dogs, porn oglers, smut peddlers, BDSM junkies, M/M and M/M/F addicts, DP dabblers, body modification connoisseurs, and lovers of A2M backdoor sexy times. If you don’t fall into these categories, can’t stomach hot man-on-man action, or if you have no idea what the above acronyms mean, please back away from BEATS now. This isn’t the book you’re looking for. Failure to heed this warning could inadvertently throw unauthorized users into a persistent vegetative state, or at the very least, require administration of a defibrillator to the chest and/or groin area. Nobody wants that.

For months, shy drummer Jinx Hardwick has been silently crushing on her tall, dark, and scary bandmate, Toombs Badcock. Drawn to his frightening ink and scars, she yearns to uncover the shadowy secrets lurking behind his silver eyes, but Jinx is too intimidated to even look at him, let alone talk to him. When she stumbles upon Toombs and their manipulative lead guitarist Rax in a compromising position, Jinx realizes her chances of winning Toombs’s heart aren’t just a long shot–they’re nonexistent. To make matters worse, Jinx’s family needs her at home. She’s about to back away from it all–Toombs, the band, her dreams of fame and fortune–when Rax makes her an offer she can’t refuse: a no-holds-barred night alone with Toombs. There’s one small catch. She has to go through Rax to get it.

Order your signed paperback copy here

Ebook available at:


Nocturnes, Book 3 in the Hard Rock Harlots series

[Hardcore Erotica]

NOCTURNES 2nd ED - 200 X 300NOCTURNES contains 511 F-bombs, 81 well-endowed male chickens, 65 girl kitties, 58 Richard the Lessers, 10 C-U-Next-Tuesdays, and a plethora of other colorful words and phrases that would deafen your virginal mother’s ears and make her bust out her “Shame on you!” finger. If you’ve been tuned in since the beginning of the Hard Rock Harlots series, you know the drill. The sex is extreme, the language is graphic, and the story is over the top. Prudes and under 18s need not apply. 

WARNING: NOCTURNES addresses serious topics such as alcoholism, prostitution, and cheating. If you’re looking for a barrel of laughs or sunshine and rainbows, this is NOT the book for you. 

Rax Wrathbone is the dirty rock star you love to hate. The filthy fantasy slithering through your bed sheets. The serpent in your lady garden. The snake bite in your panties that keeps you sweating all night. He. Is. Sex.

And he’s no good. For anyone.

After a nasty breakup with his best friend and their band’s drummer, Rax is flying solo for the first time in years. Who needs the drama of commitment when the line for your humping booth spans three city blocks? No, groupies and liquor are far finer company than relationships, and they don’t leave bruises after they’ve had their way with you. At least not lasting ones.

Rax’s new adventures as an alcoholic, guitar-slashing one-man show are going along swimmingly until the only woman who’s ever brought him to his knees shimmies down a pole back into his life. Eve doesn’t abide excessive drinking, she has sex with strangers for a living, and she can’t remember Rax’s name to save her life.

She’s perfect in every way.

Now, if he could just get sober long enough to forget his past and convince Eve he’s worthy of her future …

Order your signed paperback copy here

Ebook available at:

March 9 2018

Review: SCYTHE by Neal Shusterman

ScytheI keep claiming I don’t like YA books. Apparently, I’m a big ol’ liar. SCYTHE is just the latest in a line of recent YA stories I’ve read that have dragged me kicking and screaming to the Dark Side. 😂

Full disclosure: I listened to the Audible version of this book, so I may have some proper names misspelled. My memory can be sketchy on exact terms too. Apologies for any errors in advance.

The world

I have to start this review with the world-building because it’s the overarching backdrop on which everything else hangs. It’s absolutely incredible. Neal Shusterman created a masterful “utopian” society wherein death is (mostly) a distant memory from the Age of Mortality, a time when people killed and got sick and had accidents they couldn’t recover from. Sound familiar?

Science has brought this new world perfect health and a means to escape accidental death via ambidrones that pick up the “deadish” (recently dead via “splat” or whatever other accidental cause) and whisk them off to revival centers where they are put back together Humpty Dumpty style and returned to society within a few days, fresh as new. People now live hundreds of years by “turning the corner,” or resetting their bodies via some clever DNA manipulation to a younger age once they feel they’re ready to start over. To combat population explosions, leaders created scythes–grim reapers who “glean” people (kill them permanently) without bias or malice. Scythes have a quota of souls to take each year, and they’re governed by ten commandments.

There is no government; there are no leaders. The Thunderhead, which is basically God transformed into zeroes and ones, sees all and takes care of people without interfering in Scythe matters. The world is now a perfect place. The only thing left to fear is a Scythe knocking on your door.

The world’s set up alone was enough to make me swoon. SCYTHE has some of the best world-building I’ve ever encountered. I was in awe of the level of detail Shusterman put into it.

The characters

Citra and Rowan are typical teens, except for the fact that they’ve been hand-selected to be apprentices to a dude who kills people for a living, and he’s training them to do the same job.

Citra’s feisty and fiercely loyal to her family, especially her little brother Ben. In the beginning, Rowan is rather shy (“the lettuce,” as he and his one friend call the people no one seems to notice) and comes from a family that doesn’t seem to care too much about him.

If there is a weak link in this book (there’s not, in my opinion), I’d say it’s the character development for these two. They both have important arcs, but I didn’t connect with them on an emotional level until later in the story. In the opening chapters, they were fine–neither good nor bad. I just didn’t care that much about them. As the story progressed, however, I grew to like Citra and Rowan. I didn’t love them, but I liked them.

Scythe Farraday and Scythe Curie stole my heart, however. And even though I hated his guts, I also loved Scythe Goddard’s over-the-top flamboyance. He was a real piece of work, but I couldn’t look away from his dazzling charisma, as cheesy as it was. He was a rock star scythe.

The conflicts

Neal Shusterman is a master at conflict. He pits these two kids against each other from the start, despite them having obvious affection for one another. Two dogs, one bone = a wonder to behold in this book. Each chapter upped the stakes for Citra and Rowan, too. Just when things started going well or slowed down long enough for them to catch their breaths, SLAM! Something else hit them like a baseball bat, sending them out of the park to deal with a bigger baddie, a bigger challenge, a bigger tragedy. I’m in awe of Shusterman’s talent with his own blade made of words. They cut me to the bone. Throughout the story, I felt like I’d splatted several times myself and woken up in a revival center, only to find another threat waiting right around the corner. The last two parts in particular had my arm hairs exhausted from all the standing.

The ending was perfect, too. It tied up most of the loose ends whilst leaving the door open for the next book in the series. I predict THUNDERHEAD will take a very different turn from SCYTHE, and I can’t wait to see where the characters and world go from here.

The narration

Greg Tremblay’s narration irritated me a little at first, but as I listened more, I began to appreciate his style. He came across as rather emotionless, but I quickly realized there was a reason. His voice mirrored the society’s voice. In this new age where there was little to fear, thanks to nanites in everyone’s blood that dulled physical pain with opiates the second something hurt, and emo nanites (there may have been a different term for this, but I can’t remember) that artificially kept mental/emotional states stable, everything in this world is fine, just fine. I felt Tremblay’s voice acting reflected that state of “just fineness” perfectly.

SCYTHE was one of the best books I’ve ever read. I feel like I’ve been saying that a lot with the books I’ve been reviewing lately. I really hope someone makes a movie out of this one. I could picture the world and characters so vividly as I read, and I can’t stress enough how much the world-building and conflicts blew me away. I will definitely pick up THUNDERHEAD, the next book in the series and read it once I’ve had a chance to fully appreciate and digest the magic that was SCYTHE.

I bought a paperback copy for my thirteen-year-old daughter who loved THE HUNGER GAMES, HARRY POTTER, and THE GIVER. She read over 100 pages of SCYTHE on a school night, so I’m pretty sure she’s digging it as much as I did. 😄 Parents, if your child is a sensitive reader, you may want to tackle it first or buddy read with your kid. The gleanings aren’t super graphic, but they can be pretty shocking.

I recommend SCYTHE to readers who enjoy utopian/dystopian young adult stories with a killer punch. 😉


You can pick up SCYTHE on Amazon (universal link), Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and Kobo.

 

March 5 2018

Super Smuttylicious Giveaway

If you haven’t picked up Thor Cox‘s GRAFFITI CITY: CUMMAGEDDON, you are missing out on something truly hysterical.

You’re also in luck!

My publishing house Howling Mad Press is hosting a kickass giveaway: a paperback proof copy of Thor’s monumentous compendium of awesome (all five issues of CUMMAGEDDON in one book) AND a $25 Amazon e-gift card. Enter to win below.

For those of you just joining this feast for the eyes and genitals, here’s the blurb for GRAFFITI CITY: CUMMAGEDDON:

Griffin City is a tampon-stuffed toilet flushing itself into the ocean, a viper’s nest of desperation, a decaying den of thieves, pimps, pushers, and cum-grubby whores. But it hasn’t always been like that. Signs of better times linger in faded postcards of cherry-cheeked families playing on Wankers Beach, laughing teenagers riding the roller coasters at Horny Island, and lovers entangled over luxurious meals at Prissy’s downtown.

Now, the restaurants are owned by crime lords. Horny Island has been castrated and left to rot on the edge of town. Barbed wire seals off quarantined beaches, caged with bashed-in signs warning of industrial waste, flesh-eating bacteria, and raw sewage.

Nobody needs a sign. You can smell that shit.

From the spoiled waters of the poisoned sea, across the crumbling reach of the downtown skyscrapers, to the nasty-ass labyrinth of Olde Towne and the shady “businesses” on Fuck Street, the whole city bleeds from a rectal cancer that will kill everything you ever loved before it stuffs you cock-first into the grave.

On I-69, coming into town, you can hear the gunfire. You can see the carnage. The acidic flicker of fluorescent lights going bad buzz and flash across a welcome sign spray-painted into layers of art for the damned, tagged into chaos by meth boyz, booze bitches, and the criminally insane.

GRIFFIN CITY IS DEAD, MOTHERFUCKERS.

LONG LIVE GRAFFITI CITY.
________________________

This “graphic” novel contains all five issues of GRAFFITI CITY: CUMMAGEDDON in one righteous tome.

Check out my thoughts on each issue on Goodreads. All of these stories had me pissing myself laughing! If you read filthy erotica and love to laugh, you cannot go wrong with this series. Please, for the love of all that is unholy, CHECK IT OUT! The individual issues are FREE for Kindle Unlimited subscribers. Click the book covers for info.

Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000039_00006]Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000039_00006]Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000039_00006]Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000039_00006]

 

Issue 1: A License to Jizz

Issue 2: The Spy Who Jizzed Me

Issue 3: Thunderjizz

Issue 4: Live and Let Jizz

Issue 5: Jizzraker


 

a Rafflecopter giveaway