All’s fair in love and war ... and this is war
Family is just the worst. We've all got that one cousin who's a raging turdhammer. My family thinks it's me: Loki, God of Mischief Extraordinaire. But it's not. It's not even Thor, hammer references aside. It's Odin, the AllDick. Listen, I'm not mad that I woke up in a woman's body after the apocalypse. These things happen. The problem is, Odin stole my runes. You know, the ones that keep me smart, charming, and oh yeah, immortal.
With the AllDick cockblocking my every move, a frenemy chicken interfering in my biz, and the strange, delicious feelings this new body has for the knight-in-modern armor who keeps coming to my rescue, I'll need every weapon in my war chest (which is bodaciously big--gods, how do you ladies sleep on these things?) if I'm going to survive.
Although, I've never been one for the bare minimum. Why only survive when I can thrive? If Odin thought Ragnarok was bad, he's in for the ride of his afterlife when he gets a load of the new me.
Not all that glitters is gold
Where better to learn that lesson than in the hallowed halls of the gilded Nine Realms Resort and Casino in Las Vegas?
Odin, aka Alldickhead, has led me on a merry chase--if you consider foul-mouthed mobster hummingbirds, a bisexual millionaire cross-dresser, and heartbreak to be merry. To be fair, the millionaire is quite merry, but it's hard to appreciate good drag when you're about to die.
When things can't get worse, my Aunt Flo pays a visit. I suppose there's a price for rocking this awesome body, and Ragnarok in my pants is the fee. (Mad respect to those who bleed for seven days and don't die. Or kill anyone.)
Odin remains one step ahead, lobbing unwanted surprises that could destroy the first real friendships I've had in centuries and torpedo my romance with the hot AF Gunnar Magnusson, not to mention, obliterate any chance of retrieving my runes.
But yours truly isn't giving up. In fact, I'm laying all my chips on the table. You can't con a con man, my friends. As Asgard is about to be reminded, they don't call Loki the trickster god for nothin'.
Book 2 in the Asgard Awakening urban fantasy comedy series
Friends can be such a drag
Hello again. It's me, your favorite reincarnated Norse trickster god, Loki.
I still have boobs.
I'm also suffering from a health issue that has a 99.43% chance of permanently ending me (assuming the Norns don't get to me first). And I can't find my immortality rune. And the runes I did recover are playing fisticuffs with each other. And I've been cursed with an inability to lie. One by one, my new friends are turning out to be old foes. Oh, and did I mention I accidentally on purpose destroyed Odin's gazillion-dollar business investment, and now he's sharpening his spear for me too?
I hate Tuesdays.
But I finally got a lead on another rune. With a trip to a drag queen pageant in San Francisco in my future, I just have to convince my friends Gunnar Magnusson, Freddie, and Darryl Donovan that they're destined to change the world in dresses and heels. That would transform this terrible Tuesday into the funnest Frigg-ing Friday since Ragnarok.
Book 3 in the Asgard Awakening urban fantasy comedy series
Fools rush in where gods fear to tread
Hear that rumble? No, it's not my stomach, though I could really go for a goat or three. It's Thor. THE Thor who threatened to knock my head off with his stupid hammer back in the Viking Age. As of ten minutes ago, he was also my buddy, but revelatory runes and pissy Norns have a penchant for crapping on the great (former) god Loki. If mortality is a thorn in my side, Thor is a spiked baseball bat suppository.
But my enemy-turned-friend-turned-raging-berserker-maniac is only the tip of my massive iceberg of problems. Thor's daddy Odin wants a piece of me, preferably the piece that keeps me breathing. Strange things are afoot at the Asgard Awakening television studio in Los Angeles where my friends and I are about to guest star on the popular program. With a sudden shift in control behind the scenes of the show, mysterious players are arriving on set, and nothing is as it seems. As destructive forces from my past resurface in a disturbing pattern I know all too well, I'm having second thoughts about restarting Ragnarok. My immortality is no longer the only thing on the line. It'll be game over for humanity (again) if the centuries-old feud between the Odin crime family and the House of Loki bleeds into the modern world.
FOOLED is the fourth and final book in the Asgard Awakening urban fantasy comedy series